How To Be A Drunken Reader in 7 Easy Steps

Step One: Make sure you have adequate reading materials. Nothing sucks more than running out of books. Or so I’ve heard. I’ve actually never had that happen.


Step Two: Have adult beverages close at hand. Whether you’re sipping on a chilled glass of wine or kicking it with a cocktail, stopping to refill your glass ruins the read and your buzz. Plan ahead. Make a pitcher.


Step Three: Ensure peace and quiet. What would be the point of books and alcohol when there are still people around to annoy you. Lock the family away with their stupid electronics. You already have plans.


Step Four: Only elastic waist or similarly non-binding clothing allowed. It is imperative that all body parts be free to find whatever Cirque Du Soleil-like position is needed for a marathon reading and drinking section.


Step Five:  Find a cozy spot. Light is good and so is the ability to turn said lights off. If you’re a true drunken reader, a nap is all but certain.


Step Six:  Make sure you talk to the characters and the author. Out loud. The snarkier the comments the better. No one will be around to hear it, but it’s guaranteed to enhance your enjoyment of both the book and the drinks.


Step Seven: Enjoy yourself. There is never a reason to have a nasty drink or a bad book. While we here at Drunk On Book would never advocate wasting delicious alcohol, life is too short to risk sickness at the hands of a poorly made cocktail. By that same logic, terrible books can be rehomed to people with less developed reading tastes. But you shouldn’t be friends with people like that so…

Drink what you love, read what you crave, and you’ll be a drunken reader in no time.


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